Monthly Archives of: June 2010

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The Beauty of Letting Go

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Warning!  If you do not own or possess children do not read any further…

Am I at such a huge point of awakening in my life that I even find the beauty in my children’s bowel movement?  If you have kids, you will get this.   If you don’t, you may think, well, I’m weird.

As my 2 ½ year old daughter sits on the potty, and I hold her hands so she won’t touch the seat, she tells me, “Shhhh… Mommy, it’s coming.”  And then she grunts as hard as she can, followed by a loud plop, and then a huge smile.  “Did you hear it, Mommy?”

Gratifying?  Yes, and for the both of us.  Is it the fact that I really want to see her (or anyone, for that matter) take a huge dump?  And close up,  ‘cause I’m on the floor in front of the toilet, at seat level?  Hell no!  But it’s watching my daughter grow up in front of my eyes, climbing yet another mountain, learning how  to be her own little person.  Learning how to let go.  This is the part of parenting, these stinky, strange little moments, which make my life as a mom worth living.

S

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Unstructured Structure – On a Whim

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I’m sure we could get into a year-long argument about what we think our definition of good parenting is.  I have to be honest, when I got pregnant, I did it on a whim.  Which is pretty much the way I do most things in my life.  Impulsiveness wins once again.  I have absolutely no regrets and have the two most beautiful children anyone could spawn, but did I plan beyond the decor in the baby room?  I think not, and I’m ok with that.

We own our own businesses, and my husband and I travel a good bit, so it’s hard to put your kids on a perfect sleep schedule when they wanna stay up and wait for mommy or daddy because they haven’t seen them in 3 days.   They have my husband’s blood, which means they don’t need as much sleep as most kids.  For that we are truly blessed.  It means we don’t have to cut out of our own cookout turned wine tasting to escape for an hour to put our kids down…If they have the energy to hang, we let them hang.  And at the first sign of a yawn, they go down like little angels. (Usually no later than 11 on a weekend.)

We “plan” now “not to plan.”  We’ve decided that structure doesn’t fit well into our lives.  It actually makes things tougher, and when you don’t have rules, there are none to break.  This doesn’t mean our house is chaotic, it isn’t at all.   Our children are little adults, we treat them as such, we speak to them as such (never once used baby talk with my children, yuck!), and most of the time they react as such.  Yes, they still talk back from time to time, ignore us, and stick out their tongues, but they also are respectful, creative, and have a wonderful love for life.

My point being:  Because we live on a whim most of the time, my kids can fall asleep anywhere, be it plane, train, or automobile.  They can stay up and watch the fireworks or a really great NFL game.  They can dance when we are playing our iPod while having a glass of wine at the end of the night….When they miss their bedtime “curfew” they can live an extra hour or two, which at the end of it all, adds years to their lives and many memories to ours.

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The Next Picasso

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How is it that we can go through life and not really tap into our true potential.  I’m 35 and and just now really tapping into “me.” The writer, the creator, the motivator…..My eight-year-old son has been called a prodigy, he is an amazing artist.  I can sit and watch him draw forever.  His talent runs so deep and is definitely a God given one because Lord knows he doesn’t get it from his parents.

I’ve been trying to explain to Vance that he could start his own company now.  Why wait?  He has a gift that could set him up for the rest of his life.  But he just doesn’t get it yet.  My goal this summer is for us to write a children’s book together and have him illustrate it.  What better way for him to tap into his creative side even more, tell a story, teach a lesson, learn a lesson, and have something tangible for us to remember the summer of 2010.  We will keep you posted…..now go tap into your creativity.  Whether it be writing, designing, drawing, painting, singing, dancing, sculpting, composing…got do it!  I bet you feel great when you’re done.Vance, age 8......

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Live in the moment

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When it started to downpour today, my son started freaking out!  Last night there was a tornado warning and he was doing hail mary’s in Target, praying for his life, LOL.  This was a new thing, and little did I know he was even Catholic.  He was literally shaking from his fear… Today I decided to help him get past his fear.  Fear is just fantasized events appearing real I told him.  I helped him to see one cool thing each about thunder, lightning and rain.  Thunder is a beautiful sound, and it gives us the chills, so I told him to embrace that.  It’s loud and makes us take notice.  Lightning is just another form of God’s artwork.  Since Vance is an artist he of course related to that.  And the rain is nurturing the earth, the plants, our flowers, etc.  Vance liked his idea better that it was just God peeing on the world.

I dared him to run out to the backyard with me and just stand in the rain for a moment.   I thought it would be a great way to tap into my inner child and to show Vance some fun.  I wanted him to feel the storm, and to show him that nothing would happen. At that same moment of my invitation my Market Umbrella blew across the back yard, flipped three times and hit our Rover.  Vance shook his head and that’s when I knew I had to accept my own dare so I stripped off my shoes and out I went.  My 2  1/2 year old and 8 year old just stood at the doorway and looked at me like I was crazy.  Maybe so, but as I stood there in the wind looking up at the sky in the pouring down rain, I didn’t care.  It was exhilirating!  I dare you to bring out your inner child this week, and if you have kids do it with them.   If you don’t have kids, do it anyway.  Find a part of you that you’ve lost or didn’t know you had!