Ahhhhh. It’s 5:30 am and I can’t go back to sleep. I haven’t been up this early in a while, but I awoke to my mind going a mile-a-minute and I really just wanted to be sitting in front of my mac with no one else around, thinking and writing about what this day will bring. My mind is jumping from my son, who has his last day of school today, to tonight’s soft opening I have with my brother (my other son, lol) for our Dugout Pub and Grille adventure, but my mind just keeps coming back to the book I picked up last night called What to Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmsetter, Ph. D.
His premise for the book seems to be–what we think about we bring about. And I believe there is no greater theory in life. Our mind, and therefore our thoughts, get us to where we are in all areas of life; success, love, and self-acceptance.
How do you talk to your best friend when you are pumping them up for something versus how you talk to yourself? That’s a reality check because I think we sometimes believe in others more than we do ourselves. But what if we believed in ourselves more? What if we pumped ourselves up like we do our bff’s to go after our dreams, to run that extra mile, or to search more for what truly, simply makes us happy?
In this book it says that leading behavioral scientists say that seventy-seven percent of all thoughts are negative, counterproductive and they work against us. Whoah Nelly! That’s not a boat I wanna be on. And to make it worse, they say that seventy-five percent of all illnesses are self-induced, and I believe those stats 100%. Most of this comes from our programming from our parents (who tell us no and average of 148,00 times from birth up until eighteen-years-old—and this is if you come from a semi-positive household) and from society. And here’s the kicker: Some parents are only telling their kids during those same critical years that they “can” do it an average of a couple hundred times. Dear God.
I will say the one thing I do right as a parent is getting my children to dream big. I tell my son, who just turned nine, that no matter what his friends say, (because he is very much so on the creative side and his athletic buddies think he’s a bit weird at times because he’d rather be creating a scene for a Super Mario Bros movie he’s about to make than passing a football) he is amazing, and that his differences in his artistic ability will allow him to be super creative in his future–may it be taking over his father’s legacy to be a magazine guy, becoming an incredible movie producer, art teacher, actor, or whatever it is his little, but passionate heart desires.
As parents we can change the world by instilling more positive values in ourselves. It is this role in life that we need to embrace because the future of our world lies in a change in old thinking habits and executing a better, more positive role model to not only our own children but the children of the world.
These next two paragraphs came straight out of Helmstetters book:
Why are some people, day to day, happier, more productive, more fulfilled than others? What makes the difference? Is it Kismet, a kind of fate, which in some mysterious way charts our destiny and leaves little of the steering of our course through life up to us?
Is the control of our lives in our hands or isn’t it? And if we can, or should control our lives, what goes wrong? What holds us back? If we truly would like to do better, be the way we really would like to be, and be happier and more successful every day in every area of living, what is the wall that stands in our way?
Helmstetter says it our thinking–our negative self-talk that steers our ship in the wrong direction, along with the lack of positivity of those around us. I believe it’s really just that simple. And my own personal experience agrees. When I look at the times I have excelled and the times I have failed, it all goes right back to just that—my thinking process. I am my own best cheerleader and my own worst enemy at times.
Today I’m putting on that short skirt and mid-riff (so to speak) and I’m standing on my own sideline and I’m cheering me on–I hope you do the same. I’m over sleeping with the enemy.