It’s Friday night, so the kids and I ordered in. Steamed chicken and veggies (no sauce) from the local Chinese place. That is about as freaky as I get with take out. After being up since four a.m., this girl was not cooking. Sorry Martha.
I called it in the moment soccer was over at 7pm. The last time they said they’d “deliver in forty-five minutes or less.” It took them 90 minutes. So I was prepared mentally for that tonight, given it’s Friday night in a college town.
At eight pm they still weren’t here. At 8:20 after my daughter asked, ”Where’s the Chinese man? I’m starving!” I decided I would call.
“Mam, I called in an order almost 90 minutes ago.” I said politely.
“What’s your address?” The Chinese lady asked me.
“551 White Street,” I responded.
Then there was a fight. She started yelling, in Chinese, to some guy in the back. It got loud and ugly, but then again I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. So maybe they weren’t cussing, they were just discussing. I started laughing. It was comical. After a good solid minute, she got back on.
“Mam, we left it at your dor while ago? We cawed and cawed, no one answered, so we left it.” She said in her cute Chinese American accent.
That made me laugh even harder. I hadn’t paid.
“Go luuk by your dor,” she insisted. “It’s there!”
I opened it up and sure it enough it was there. That was a first.
I told her I hadn’t paid, although she argued that I had. Gave her my debit number. Now she was laughing.
“Leave tip far driver?” She asked.
Hell yeah, considering he left it on good fortune, for sure an even bigger tip, I thought. Because what really happened was they delivered it in less than twenty minutes, beating me home from soccer practice.
I hung up the phone and unloaded our dinner. The first ten bites I’m always thinking there’s a possibility that the chicken might be cat. But if it is, it’s good cat.
Vance lips smacked for the next ten minutes, he didn’t say a word. Sloane dug into her rice, unassisted at her request, because she swears she turned four while I was away last week, and is now covered from head to toe, ear to ear, in white rice.
“Surprise!” She yelled as she threw a handful of rice into the air. “A rice bomb!”
Crap. The house was just vacuumed.
I now have to go de-rice her….and find all the tiny white rice kernels in her curly hair. Tomorrow morning is picture day for dance class, lol.
My fortune: Recognition is the greatest motivator.